Take a look at the picture to the right, looks fun? Now look back at the text, now back to the picture, now back to the text again. Its a big purple dildo. You dont have one? And you want one? Stay here and lets take a look at some other crazy wackiness that will be available in the third instalment of Saints Row.
It's going to be a wild ride in this paradise for causing chaos. You can walk along the street minding your own business and then launch yourself at random people, wiping their faces on the concrete with a brutal DDT (Wrestling move performed by putting the opponent in a front facelock and falling backwards so that the opponent is forced to dive forward onto his head = awesome). You might want to steal a jet and go on a cruise over the city, or maybe just deal headshots to innocent people with a cannon, smearing them against the scenery while circus music jingles away in the background (this can't be bad, can it?).
With that short intro, let's see what's actually new. First of all, Saints Row 3 has a new engine that makes it look a lot more like GTA IV, it's definitely the vibe you get when you first see it, so it can't be helped. But it is a new engine nonetheless, so that means you will be able to do things you couldn't do before. Like new ways to wreak your car up into interesting shapes with the new deformation system. Driving will be different too, with a tweaked driving model designed to make racing a lot more exciting. There will also be the usual bundle of customisation options for your car. Your character will be pimpable (word?) too, with ridiculous spread of normal, not so normal and hands down insane outfits to make you better equipped for rioting, including a space suit! Can't help but wonder if theres also some kind of bondage gear in there somewhere.
The storyline goes that your character is an actor who is trying to learn more about the Saints, who have become world famous since the second game. There is a movie being produced and you're participating on a bank job. All hell breaks loose, you find out the bank is actually a front for the Syndicate, who are a big enemy faction in Saints Row 3. While trying to rip the vault out of the building and drag it away with a helicopter (i'm not making stuff up) things go wrong and you find yourself trying to sort things out.
Theres no more info plot-wise at the moment, but naturally this means going around the city, performing tasks, completing missions and blowing stuff up goes without question, plus completing side quests etc.. The game world will be smaller in terms of general area, but Volition said it will be much more denser/crowded in terms of "stuff to do per square metre". And you'll be able to go through it all in the co-op mode which sadly i can't find any details on. There is also something called Whored mode in the main menu, which will probably be a multiplayer Horde mode (it's like a pun, you know).
To sum it all up, it’s going to be juvenile and personally, i wouldn't like it any other way. While there is perhaps a bit too much focus on crushing the "area which God only meant to be treated nicely" of innocent civilians with the patented "nut shot", there is nothing wrong with strapping a satchel charge to someone and blowing them to bits, or driving over someones face with your car. So expect a huge number of over the top "comedy" weapons, vehicles and melee attacks. One thing's for sure about Saints Row 3 – it will be a riot to play. It's just a question of whether the actual gameplay can back up all the crazy, stupid things you'll be able to do.